Simon & Carolyn's Wedding

Having arrived home from Cornwall at 1:00am Saturday 11th July, I found myself awoken by my TV at 10:00am and rushing around looking for my mod-style target cufflinks. After one of the hottest bus rides of my London life, suited & booted, I arrive at Putney Methodist Church just in time to collect my spanking blue tie & flower for the button hole.

Soph, Vic & Kirsty all looked beautiful in their usher's outfits & it was great to catch up with a few old familiar faces. I, however, looked rosy as a beetroot sporting my new Cornwall-made sunburn. Luckily the church was fairly wooden & the light inside helped make me look a tad more golden whilst reading Simon's late Grandfather's slushiest of poems, 'Beautiful Love'.

Back at the Ham Polo Club the reception got underway with fantastic canopés and bottomless Pimms. The obligatory giant Jenga and Connect Four made for a welcome entrance for the beaming two as they arrived in a vintage Jaguar. The food was amazing, a full hog-roast with a really tasty summer fruit sauce, crackling pieces longer than the plates, a huge basket of olive-studded bread and all followed by bowls of the most perfect strawberries I've ever seen. Same size, same shape, flawless.

After some very amusing speeches - which left everybody under the impression that I had mistakenly pulled a man on the stag weekend, hmm... - we all bet that the 'champion pair of snoggers' would look good on the dance floor, and so they did. Both Bride and Groom looked almost as good as those amazing strawbs during their smoochie poochie under the DJ booth. As per usual the parents were left to get eveyone else into the idea of dancing & even I graced the stage with Simon's littlest of sisters. Now, none of your cheek!